Yours forever
by Mlooker
Summary: Isabella Swan moves to Forks to live with her dad, Charlie, she goes to study Quilete history and legends, but she gets something much more exhilarating and unexpected—true love.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters but i think i own the plot line. No copying is intended.**

 **Prologue**

My name is Isabella Swan and i 'm studying history for my first year as a sixth former. For my last exam paper of the year, I'm going to go to Forks, Washington in America, which is where my dad lives and go to the Quilete tribal school for my last term to study the history and legends of the tribe—those subjects are what my paper will be focused on. I don't how my dad got me into the school as I'm definitely not Quilete and they don't usually leads pale faces into the school. However, i guess being the chief of police gets you special treatment.

I live with my loving, erratic, hair rained mother in Kendal, Cumbria in England. My mum and dad split up when i was only a baby and my mum took me with her when she left. I've called my dad every day since i could speak and I've only ever seen him once since my mum left him, but that was when i was 12 years old, (5 years ago).

I'm going to be finishing my 'junior' year, (as they call it in America), in Forks, but i don't know if I'll stay for my 'senior' year. I have Forks though, it's a tiny everyone-knows-everyone's- business sort of town, i mean seriously, the population is only 3,120 people, but this will be a good thing; i think.

My reverie was broken by the announcer stumbling over his words on the recurved..."The P..Pl..Plane has landed, b..But please stay in..Y..Your...S..ss..seats.".

I stumbled off the plane down to collect my luggage when i was told it was okay, i had quite a lot, man my mum can be overbearing, but god i just can't help but love her.

"Bella!"

I heard a loud shout from further down the room. At first i thought that my name was being shouted for someone else, but then i spotted my dad standing with his arms stretched outwards like her expected me to jump into his arms. Which is exactly what i did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters but i think i own the story line. I'm sorry if i'm copying anyone.**

 **Chapter 2**

Dad wrapped his arms securely around my waist in a heartfelt embrace, just being in his arms again makes me want to cry. I suddenly felt like a little girl again, grabbing onto her daddy because a certain someone had been horrible to her. My thounghts trailed off into reminiscing the past, when i first saw my dad again when i was 12, to my first kiss and prom. I had become so engrossed in my thoughts that i didn't notice my dad questioning my halted motions.

"Hey baby, where are you?"

"Bella?"

"Are you okay honey?"

"What's wrong?"

I suddenly felt my shoulders being shook quizically and l looked up to see my dad looking at me oddly. Then, i realized that i must have zoned out again, and que that mortifying blush.

"Oh, sorry dad, i was just thinking." I thought that reply would cover it, but no my dad wanted more information as he was still staring at me worriedly.

"Really dad, it happens all the time." Finally, i thought, he has deemed my answer satisfying.

"Okay Bells, but you know i worry about you. You've been through a lot since you were young, with me and Renee splitting up and all."

Charlie Swan was not usually a verbose man, but i think that was the longest thing i've ever heard him say in my whole life. He's normally quiet but observant, he sees more than peers give him credit for. He has salt and pepper hair and a chielsled and aged but kind face. He has a usual masculine build and fairly pale skin, like me, also, we have pretty much the same eye colour, mine a slightly lighter chocolate brown than his, but all in all, we are very similar in looks and personality.

I have thick dark brown hair with beautiful red tints in it when it catches the sunlight, chocolate brown eyes, a kind but high cheek-boned, heart-shaped face, plump lips and a slender, willowy figure. Altogether, i'd say i'm pretty ordinary.

"Come on kid, i'll grab your suitcase, let's go."

Dad slung one arm around my shoulders, grabbed my black suitcase with his other and let me to the parking lot. And there sat, innocently, (and embarrassingly), in one of the spaces on the left of the lot, was dad's dreaded police cruiser. Oh my, this is going to be a long ride.

Dad placed my suitcase carefully in the boot while i sat waiting in the passenger seat. Then dad opened the driver's door, sat down and said in an unexpectedly excited tone, "Jake wants you to go down to La Push tomorrow to see him. There is going to be a barbeque at the reservation and you're all he's been talking about for the past month. He misses you. So, you in?"

Ahh, Jacob Black. He misses me! Yes dad, yes i'm definitely in.

"Sure, dad." I wouldn't miss it for the world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, i only think i own the plot. Sorry if I'm copying, it was not intended.**

Chapter 3 

We arrived at dad's house in approximately three hours, on the way there we did little to no talking. My mind had drifted to the adonis that was Jacob Black, well, that's how I've viewed him since i was 12 years old. I always held a gigantic crush for Jake after that summer, he was my saviour, and i will always see him as that. He tried to break me out of my shell even though i was in such a vulnerable place in my life. He helped me stand up to the bane of my existence that summer, their name was...no, i can't even think it. One thing's for sure though, i will never let somebody intimidate me like that ever again, and i owe Jake everything, he gave me the confidence to stand up for myself, and i will forever be thankful for that.

I have to say, dad's house is beautiful. It's middle-sized, not a creamy colour, but a solid, clean white, as white as the mesmerising clouds that lazily drifted through the sky. The windows were square-shaped on the bottom with a smaller oval-shape ontop and not a stain lingered on the clear glass, it's two stories seemed larger than they actually were as they billowed overhead, the size wasn't intimidating though, on the contrary it gave me a sense of security and stability. Wisteria climbed the house, it's gorgeous purple flowers dangling precariously.

"Come on Bells, let's get you settled in."

Dad grabbed my suitcase and started dragging it up to the porch, opened the old, heavy oak door and clambered up the stairs leading to the landing as i sat and stared curiously after him. I'd never expected me and dad to get on so well as i hadn't seen him in so long, also mum said, "Bella, Charlie is a difficult man to live with, extremely controlling. The date is the 5th October, school starts on the 5th September, my guess is you're going to want to be back here by the end of the month." Yeah right mum, like I'd want to go back and live with you any time soon.

Mum made me pay the bills as soon as i got a job that brought in money, i bought the groceries, i cleaned the house, i cooked the meals, i've been made to look after her since i was 14, that's three years of no friends and no friends means no social life and no social life means no boys. So basically, I'm a hermit, my routine is wake up, have a shower, get dressed, (i don't wear make up), cook breakfast for mum and Phil, (Phil is mum's husband, also known as the only person she cares about except herself), make lunch for them and leave it in the a fridge, go school, buy groceries, go to work, make the devil and her accomplice tea, do homework, clean house, then finally, after a day of torture, go to sleep, only to dread the next day. And i do all this while mum and Phil live in a self-proclaimed paradise.

"Bella, you coming? I want to show you you're room."

"I'm coming!"

I quickly scramble out of the car, nearly tripping over my own feet in the process, down the door and jog up the small steps leading to the door, i'm surprised i actually got to the top unscathed as i have a reputation for being overly clumsy, not just at times, but all the time.

"Dad!" I shout as i get to the landing.

"In here Bells, first door on your left."

I turned towards the place dad said, opened the door and gasped.

The room was absolutely captivating and totally me. Each wall was a different colour, the one opposite me was white, on the left of that was a pretty light green and on the left a baby blue, the wall opposite the white one was a light brown, each wall had also been splatter painted with all of the colours used, and in the centre of each was a small painted picture. On the brown wall was an interesting dream catcher, on the blue was a graceful looking swan sitting peacefully on a cloud, on the green was a forest with birds flying in the distance and the last picture on the white wall was the the one that mostly caught my attention, it was a silvery coloured wolf standing on a large cliff edge, it was beautiful and mesmerising, the look in it's eyes reminding of that of a man glancing adoring at his love, his life...his imprint.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, but i think i own the plot. No copying is intended, but I'm sorry if i am.**

Chapter 4 

His imprint? Where did that come from? I sighed and attempted to shrug off the new word that my mind must have created, but even as i explored the rest of my room, i just couldn't shake it off. I knew that my dad was telling me information about where he bought all of my dainty furniture, but i must have tuned him out as i didn't realise when he left me to unpack the few items that i had brought with me, quietly closing the door behind him. Then, i reasoned with myself, just ask Jake tomorrow, he would never lie to me, we are still one of each other's closest friends.

Despite being a little jet lagged, i begin to take my neatly folded clothing into my wardrobe. Most of my outfits were a bit too summery for the weather here in Forks right now, so I'd have to have a shopping in Port Angeles sometime soon.

When i finish unpacking, i check the time, it's already 8:00pm, so i got ready for bed so i could have an early night to be well rested for my late night tomorrow at the bonfire. My pajamas were silky and smooth, both the top and bottoms a pretty shade of light purple. After my teeth were thoroughly brushed, i went downstairs to tell dad that i'm going to sleep.

"Ok Bells, you've had a long day, get some sleep. We've got to go to Billy and Jake's tomorrow."

"Alright dad, night."

"Night Bells."

I trudged back up the reasonably steep staircase leading up to my room pretty much dead on my feet, i had a headache, my feet were aching terribly and i honestly felt like i was going to pass out at any second. I didn't even bother to shut my door as i got to my bedroom because as soon as i spotted my comfy bed, which even thinking of lying on made me believe it was a paradise, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, i was out like a light.

...

As my eyes opened, the first thing i noticed was the light invading my private space and felt betrayed, the sun was supposed to protect me, like it did in England when i was feeling sad, but instead it wakes me up to my first day in Forks. But then my mind flits back to my strange dream last night.

It's my 12 year old self's first day in Forks, I'd arrived at Port Angeles with my mum as dad couldn't be there to pick me up as he was working.

"Bella come on, let's get a taxi."

Mum had an extremely irritated expression on her face, like i was an unfortunate burden that she had to carry every step of the way. She roughly grabbed my arm and shoved me through the doors to apparently get me outside, like i wasn,'t capable of moving myself. She just stared at me blankly as i let out a timid whimper as she squeezed my arm too tightly.

"Stop being a baby Bella. Wait here, I'll go back inside to call the taxi."

And with that ending statement, she strode back through the doors into the airport, leaving all alone with lots of strangers crowding around me. She always said when i questioned her afterwards that the Wi-fi was much stronger there, but i've constantly thought that she just wanted to have more time away from me.

"Are you okay?"

I turned my head to the side and noticed a handsome, slightly older boy looking at me with concern.

"Y..Yeah, I'm ffi..Fine." I didn't realise that my voice was shaking up then and suddenly felt a wetness sensation slipping down my face. I blushed curiously at that, how embarrassing, the only time a guy ever notices me is when i'm crying.

"You don't look it. Where are you're parents?"

"My mum's inside."

"She left alone at an airport." His voice sounded slightly appalled.

"Err...Yeah." My tone appeared exceedingly uncertain.

"You just watch yourself, wouldn't want a pretty thing like you getting hurt." And with that parting sentence, the good looking boy left, only leaving me to stare after him in confusion.

As my memory faded to the background, i wondered, why was i thinking about him again? I've heard that he still lives on the reservation, so i guess some of my questions shall be answered tonight...If only i had the courage to talk to him, not that he'd most likely answer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, i only think i own the plot. Copying is not intended, but I'm sorry if i am.**

Chapter 5

Suddenly, i heard two gentle knocks on my bedroom door.

"Bella it's dad, the time is 9:30 and we've got to be at Billy's by 11 to help set up." My dad's voice was apologetic as he didn't want to get on my bad side my first full day here.

"Okay dad, can i shower before we go?"

"Sure Bells, you don't have to ask."

The shower woke me up as I'd hoped it would, it was lukewarm, not too hot, not too cold, just as I'd wanted it. I used my favourite lavender shampoo, conditioner and body lotion. God, i love the scent of lavender, it made me smile, i don't know why, but it was my favourite flower too. Before i knew it, i was finished in the shower and trying to decide what to wear, it was sunny outside, so i assumed what was in my wardrobe would be suitable for the bonfire with the glare of the midday sun.

Eventually, i chose a pair of denim daisy dukes with coca cola logos seen in, a tight red crop top made from lace, which is opaque, and a pair of 4 inch dark blue wedges. I put beautiful waves in my usually straight hair and used a little product to make it bounce. I'm not really one for wearing makeup, but i want to make a great first impression so i used a bit of concealer, black mascara, gave myself mysterious smoky dark eyes, i then used some nice lipstick, making them shiny and kissable. I added a pretty pair of small silver star earrings to my appearance, a silver bracelet and a gorgeous silver necklace with an only slightly bigger star as it's pendant. Finally, i was ready. I gazed into the mirror, satisfied with my appearance, what can i say, i looked hot. My clothes hugged my figure, making me feel more confident than i have ever felt before, that feeling bringing a genuine smile upon my face.

I opened the door to the landing, walking with an extra self-assured, sexy swing to my hips. My dad was waiting at the bottom of the stairs slack-jawed with his mouth hanging open, making him look like a gaping fish. As i was on the last step, he said, "You need to change." As he said that, i felt the smile slip off my face and my step faltered, causing me to fall, but my dad caught me before i hit the ground.

"Bella", dad said as he pulled me upright,"you can't go outside looking like that, I'll have to peel the boys off you. And poor Jake, he have heart palpitations when he sees you."

"Don't worry dad, i won't like any of the boys there anyway." That pretty smile was back on my face again, my ego blasting off the roof.

"Yes you will Bells, there's all big and muscular, quite a catch apparently." My dad's tone was worried and skeptical, making me laugh heartily.

"Dad, come on, i don't look that good, I'm sure the Quileute girls will be a lot prettier than me."

"I'm not so sure Bells, you look stunning."

"Trust me dad, i don't want a boyfriend or a one night stand. I'm not about to do the walk of shame my first proper day here, I'd develop a reputation." As i talked, i could see my dad's face getting redder and redder with embarrassment, and when i had finished my little tirade, my dad said in an unusually distant, but determine, cold voice, "No, you will not."

And with that, my dad strode back into the kitchen, grabbed his car keys and said, "Let's go then Bells."

"Can i drive my own car? Because i might want to stay longer."

"Sure, but you have to be back by midnight." Dad put a lot of emphasis on the words 'by' and 'midnight'.

"I know, and i will be."

Dad walked to his police cruiser, believing me, put the key in the ignition, and set off down to La Push.

I grabbed my own set of keys, strolled casually to my orange Chevy, and set off following dad to Jake's house.

I'm so excited about tonight, and i can't wait to see Jake's reaction to seeing me. We've always had a thing, me and Jake, we stood up for each other and that terrible summer, he really was my lifeline, which makes me extremely glad that we had stayed in contact over the 5 years we hadn't seen each other.

When i got to La Push, dad was already there, his cruiser parked by Jake's house, but dad was sitting in a green camping chair next to Billy sipping a beer.

As i got out of my car, i heard Billy say to dad, "Where's Bella?" Dad had spotted me by then so he pointed towards me and said, "There." When Billy saw me, he exclaimed,"Bella!", In disbelief. As i neared him, i noticed that Billy had gained a few wrinkles since the last time i saw him, and he had a very stressed look in his eyes. When i was about a metre away from him , he said, "What, no hug for uncle Billy?" That made me grin and i moved to hug him.

"It's nice seeing you again Billy."

"You too Bells. My god, you really have changed."

"I know."

I pulled back from the hug and asked, "Have you seen Jake around?"

"Yes, he's on first beach with his friends. By the way Bella, he didn't know were coming, i thought it would be more fun to surprise him." Billy had a mischievous going to his eye with that last sentence which made me feel a little anxious.

"Okay Billy, do you think i should go find him?" My tone was nervous and doubtful, oh no, where did all my confidence disappear to.

"Definitely. Do you remember the way?"Billy now had this weirdly excited expression on his face, like he was expecting something to happen when i saw Jake.

"Of course, i'll go right now."

I set off down to first beach, leaving dad and Billy staring behind me. I had butterflies fluttering around my stomach, driving me crazy. As i got closer, i started to hear loud, obnoxious laughter coming from a little way down the beach. When the trees parted to reveal the beautiful first beach, i actually gasped. The sand looked so soft, like a sea of very light, orangey brown and the sea sparkled in the sunlight, creating a romantic aura in this gorgeous setting.

"Hey girl, what're doing just standing there?" A sweet, childlike voice cut through my reverie. I turned to see an obviously younger boy, but he had large muscles and a kind face.

"I'm just admiring the view." I said with a stunning smile which made the younger boy appear out of breath.

"I'm Seth by the way, let me introduce you to the guys." He said overeagerly, while he took my smile hand in his large one.

"Sure".

He pulled me from the outskirts of the forest towards a group of approximately six guys who all looked towards us as we approached.

"Bella!" Two guys said in amazement at exactly the same time, one, Jacob Black, my own personal sun and the most loving person I'd ever known, and two, the most notorious, horrible and intimidating guy I'd ever met; Paul Lahote.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and no copying is intended**

Chapter 6

"Jake!"

I leaped into his arms and sunk into his embrace. God, he had grown considerably since the last time I saw him. His russet skin glowed in the sunlight, and his eyes were a light brown—they were shining with joy.

"My god Bells, you've changed, you're even more beautiful than you were before."

His eyes roamed my body like he wanted to eat me, and I couldn't help but blush.

"You too." His answering smile was as wide as I had ever seen it.

"So what have you been up to?" Jacob asked as we sat down on a large piece of driftwood, with his arm slung casually over my shoulder. That was when I remembered that we had company and answered, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"

"Oh yeah, sorry Bells. You should remember some of them though. Well, guys, this is my best friend Bella Swan, as you all know. Bella, this is—"

Jake's sentence was cut off by a cute young boy who looked around 14. I was surprised when he walked straight up to me and said, "Hey Bella, I'm Seth and I'm the most amazing guy you'll ever meet." With that, he bent down on one knee down in front of me and mumbled with a red face in an embarrassed tone, "Will you marry me?"

My face must have been a picture because suddenly, the most arrogant, handsome, and devilish person I'd ever known, (Aka the spawn of Satan), began hysterically laughing, but I didn't turn to look at him, I just ignored his words and pretended to be indifferent.

"You're so gullable, as if anyone would want to marry Bella-the-boy. You look just the same, I bet you're as lousy in bed now as I remem—"

Jacob had his hand securely around Paul's neck in a second, he had an unbelievably livid look on his face—it was scary.

"Don't you dare ever say anything like that again. Do you hear me? If you do, you'll have me to deal with."

Even the tone of Jacob's voice would have put anyone off pissing him off—and I didn't like it one bit.

"Get the hell off of me Black!" Paul's whole body was just radiating anger. Reluctantly, Jake let Paul go and strolled over to where I was now, which was standing with a large gaping mouth.

"Close your mouth Swan, you'll catch flies." I closed my mouth with a loud clatter of teeth and Jake just smiled at me.

"Let's go. Billy will probably want to talk to us." Jake put his hand on the small of my back, and we set off.

The rest of the evening passed quickly and smoothly, but I couldn't stop thinking about the furious tone of Paul's voice as he said my name when he saw me.

'"Bella!"'

The next day I decided to go and meet up with two of my really great friends who are now in Seattle to stay. Their names are Danny and Jackson and they are the best, they were really my rocks when I went to live with my mum and I am forever going to be exceptionally grateful.

I added one last dash of lipstick on my already covered lips, and I was ready.

Seeing Jackson and Danny was awesome, I could just tell them anything. So that's what I did. I told them anything and everything.

When I had only been back home for about 5 minutes, I heard the doorbell ring and went to answer it. I opened the door to find that nobody was in sight, but them something white caught my peripheral vision—a piece of paper stuck to the oak tree right beside my house, my breath caught in my throat as I inspected it further...


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:I don't own Twilight or it's characters, no copying is intended.**

Chapter 7

'Slut'

Why would anyone write that about me? Hell, I've never even done...it.

I grab the note from the tree and turn it over to see if there were any clues as to who wrote it on the back, and my eyes widen even further as I read what it says, 'I saw you out with your boyfriend's, tell me whore, how many more are there?'

There were no names on the paper, hers or theirs. Maybe it wasn't meant towards her, maybe it was a mistake. But even as I thought that, I knew, deep in my bones, that it wasn't true, and those hurtful words were meant for me..

—A couple of weeks later—

Weeks passed since the first note, and more notes were delivered to me, using disgusting words like 'Slut', 'Whore', 'Hoe', and 'Slag. I found them everywhere, in my garden, on my locker, even in my room, and still I hadn't told anyone, not even Jake. Me and Jake had become even closer since I moved back, and what's more, I don't even have to see the most evil man on earth when I hang with him. Paul and Jake don't really like each other, well bad for them, bonus for me I guess.

I still have no idea who's sending the notes, and it's beginning to get me down, especially when started appearing on my locker at school and people saw them, well, lets just say that it caught on and now it's a constant torture, everyday, everywhere, and from just about everyone I meet, they know me as the 'Slut'.

Jake didn't know yet, and i'm exceptionally worried about what he'll do when he does.

I just don't know how much more I can take.

—One week later—

I'm staring at the knife in my hands, debating internally at whether or not I should use it. I've read online about how it can make you feel better–the pain that resonates deep in my heart will finally have a release.

I'm in the bathroom, nobody knows what I'm about to do. And with that reassuring thought, I put the knife to the inside of my thigh, and I begin to cut.

—Three months since the cutting started—

"Hey Bella, you okay?"

I was with Jake in his garage working on his Rabbit.

"Yeah, I'm good." I shot him a small fake smile.

He seemed to believe me as he said, "Sorry, you just looked a little out of it."

"No worries Jake, i'm fine, honest."

Jake started to look at me with barely disguised concern, oh no, did I overdo it?

"Bella, you've been acting strange for months, you know that if there's something wrong you can tell me right?" Great, he saw right through my lies.

I plastered another fake tight smile on my face, "I know Jake, but really, you're worrying too much. It's nothing, alright?"

"Okay Bells, but you know you can trust me, and when you ready to talk I'm here."

"Thank you Jacob."

"I mean it Bells."

I'd started cutting three months ago now, so I was way too far gone, far too addicted to the realease I got from it. I did it at least once a day, sometimes more. I now had multiple thin white scars on both the insides of my thighs which I could easily hide with the usual plain trousers, I mean, it was Forks, so it wasn't like shorts were common.

School was still just as bad–no, it was worse, and the notes just kept coming.

Jacob was the only light I ever saw, my own personal sun, but sometimes, I wonder if it's even worth it–living I mean. My childhood was bad enough, and now I had to deal with this too. It's too much, just too much for me to take anymore.

"Jake, I've got to go make Charlie tea. I'll see you...later."

"'Kay Bells, I'll see you later!"

Jake's voice held much more certainty than mine did, and it made me feel unbelievably guilty knowing what It'd do to him, knowing what I'd done. I hugged him hard before I left, taking in his beautiful face one last time.

I got in my car and drove, my mind filled with resolve and peace, I think even a small smile had genuinely formed in my lips for the first time in months knowing that I'd only have to deal with the pain for a little while longer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any it's characters, and no copying is intended.**

Chapter 8

The harsh wind blew my hair as I stepped out of my truck and I felt the cold rip through my thin shirt. It was just a short walk to the cliffs and strangely I was eager for my life to end, excited even. But I'll have to make the walk quick because if anybody saw me, they would most likely attempt to stop me, and that I could not afford.

Luckily I made quick work of the walk and I don't believe I was seen, so that's a result. The cliffs felt even windier than it was where my truck was parked, but it didn't matter as I didn't planned on hanging around too much longer.

I shrugged off my jacket and stood on the precarious edge of the cliff, and when I looked down I could see the large waves threateningly crash against the rocks below me, it was a sobering sight.

This is what my life had come to–contemplating committing suicide. I think of my mum, her erratic but loving nature, Charlie, his automatic blush staining his cheeks, and Jake, my own personal sun. But then I think of the hurtful notes, the terrible laughter and comments of my torturers, and Paul's sneering face as he gave me his usual dark glare from our childhood. That was all the confidence and motivation I needed...needed to make the jump.

—2 minutes later—

"Bella!"

"Bella!"

"Bella!"

I could vaguely hear someone repeating my name like a mantra, but it sounded odd, like i was underwater or something. I could feel somebody touching me, it was comforting and warm, I leaned into the touch. My eyes began to blink as they opened slowly, but they couldn't focus very well, so all I could see was beautiful russet skin. When my focus came back to me, I was undeniably shocked when I realised by the person currently holding me bridal style against his body.

"Paul."

My voice was scratchy and nearly unrecognisable, but even as I said his name I didn't look into his eyes, I couldn't face him, I couldn't face anyone, not if they knew what I'd tried to do to myself. He had me cuddled tight to his body, and I couldn't help but turn my head to place it in the crook of his neck to hide my face.

"What the hell do you think you were thinking? You could have gotten yourself...killed."

I cringed further into his neck as I heard the realisation dawn in his voice, and his arms tightened around me, pulling me more into his embrace.

"Why would you want to do that Bella? Didn't you think about what this would do to Jake? To Charlie? Course you didn't you're a selfish, greedy little girl."

Paul's voice rose higher and higher and became angrier and angrier as his little speech progressed, so by the end of it he was just about screaming down my ear.

"You're right." I said this in a resigned tone, and I could hear his sharp intake of breath as I continued. "I am selfish, I am greedy, and...and I don't deserve my family, I don't deserve Jake, but I sure as hell don't deserve this life. I want to walk down the street without being called a slut, I want to look in the mirror and see a person worthy of all the unconditional love that I do recieve, I want to be free from the judgements, the prejudices and the stereotypes, but, you know what, most of all, I want to be free from the pain of knowing that I will never, ever get that."

 **Hope you liked the chapter, reviews are very much appreciated :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, no copying is intended.**

Chapter 9

My breath came out in pants. I couldn't believe that I spilled my heart out to Paul, Paul of all people. He'll most likely use what I said against me, maybe even try to blackmail me, who knows. I tried my hardest to keep my emotions at bay, but of course my mouth disagreed with my mind and blurted out just about everything, well, except my method of release, but that's unnecessary right know.

Suddenly I felt fingers under my chin, tilting my face up so that my eyes met his.

They were a beautiful, captivating emerald green, nothing like I remembered, and I noticed that they were gazing into my eyes with awe, possessiveness, lust, and maybe even...love. I felt like I was alive for the first time in months, and that lingering look he was giving me made me feel breathless and wanted. Then reality started setting in, this was Paul, the tormentor, the same Paul that stole all my friends, the same Paul that ruined my life, and...the same Paul that started those tumors, those nicknames, those insults, the same Paul that is sending the notes.

I gasped as the realisation hit me and tore my eyes away from him.

"Bella! Bella are you okay?"

His words were worried and frantic, his eyes were wide and fearful and he was flicking them over my body as if he was scanning my body for injuries. Afterwards, he moved his face so they cupped my cheeks, his eyes were now confused as he didn't spot any.

"Bella, please talk to me!"

"Get away from me!"

I screamed this and tried to move away from his grasp and I grabbed his hands, attempting to pry them off my face, but he didn't let me go. The more I struggled the tighter he pulled me to him, the closer i was to the mouth that those generous, hateful words come out of. And the hands that were cinching my arms now, I also realize were the ones that solidifies and clarified the truthfulness of the words that he composed about me.

"Please Bella, stop! Please, I'm not going to hurt you, but I can't just let you leave all alone in this state." When I didn't stop fighting him, he said in an unbelievably upset voice, "I know that you probably hate me, and you have every right to, but, believe me, I just want to help you."

It wasn't his words that made me stop fighting him, it was the haunted, desperate and vulnerable expression on his face, it was unnerving, I'd never even seen him look remotely vulnerable before, this was the most openly and visibly disturbed I'd ever seen him.

"Why would you want to help me? All you ever wanted to do was hurt me, so why break the habit now?"

My voice wasn't as steady and strong as I'd wanted it to be, actually, it sounded meek and tinged with a deep sadness that even I could hear, I think my voice even faltered at the end.

I peeked a look at Paul's face, and what I found there surprised me. He appeared anguished, and he was refusing to look in my direction. The next words he spoke without looking at me.

"I never hated you, I know that you believe differently, but it's true, I didn't, not at all even." He took a large pause before he spoke again, like he was working up the courage to speak. "I love you Bella, I have been in love with you since I first saw you outside that airport."

He looked at me then and took my face into his hands, but I was too stunned to mention anything, then he started to run his fingers overs my cheeks, caressing me in a gentle manner, a look of reverence in his eyes.

"Baby, I want to be with you." I was evidently shocked beyond words. Paul wanted to be with me, he loved me—he'd been in love with me since our first meeting, and yet here we are.

Then suddenly It was all too much, too many feeling I had felt today, too many sights I had seen and too many revelations revealed. I was exhausted, I couldn't think straight and I had a massive headache. I pushed myself away from Paul, he let me.

"No, I–I can't do this right now." I could see that Paul was about to protest, but he kept his mouth shut after my simple plea. "Please."

And I left, leaving his distressed expression behind me.

 **Hope you liked the chapter, reviews very much appreciated.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, no copying is intended.**

Chapter 10

It's been weeks since I last saw Paul. The notes had stopped, but I couldn't stop cutting, people still talked—it was no different since he owned up to being the offender, no better, no worse.

Paul still hasn't tried to seek me out after his declaration either, and I was glad, I guess I know where I stand now. Basically, we will ignore each other, or I will ignore him anyway—I couldn't forgive him, not after what he did.

My cousin's were visiting this week and I was so excited. I mean, I hadn't seen them since I was about 10 and when we did see each other, everything we did I remember as being really fun. Amy was always extremely bubbly and carefree and Mason was forever the protective brother figure for us when we played together. Just then, I hear a sharp knock at the door and a girlish giggle...huh, speak of the devils.

As soon as I opened the door I was pulled into the biggest hug.

"Bella!"

Amy was squealing and I couldn't help but join in, what can I say, her squeals were contagious. She grabbed my hands and started jumping up and down, but soon we let go of each other, we were both panting, all that squealing and jumping had me with out in minutes.

"Don't I get a hug too?"

I answered Mason by wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face into his chest, I was always closer to him when we were children, they were 2 years older than me though, and they were twins.

"I need to talk to you later."

Mason whispered his in my ear, oh no, had he seen through my eternally cheery facade already?

"Ok, later."

I pulled away and looked at him, wow, he really had changed. His once chubby baby face had disappeared, leaving a handsome, chiseled young man. His hair was only a little darker—a dark blonde, but his eyes were lighter, instead of the navy blue they once were, they were a cute baby blue colour.

"Come in", I said as I started walking back into the house.

"Do you want to get settled in?"

"Yes, could you show us our rooms?" Amy answered.

"Of course."

I took hold of one of Amy's bags then started up the stairs. When we got to the landing, I turned to the second door on the left.

"Mason, this is your room."

"Thanks Bella, I'll just go and unpack now".

"Sure".

I shot him a small smile as he opened the door, then I pointed to the door to the right of Mason's.

"Amy, this is yours".

When she gazed in my direction, I realized that her appearance actually hadn't changed much, the total opposite of Mason's. Her hair was the same light blonde, her eyes the same dark brown, and her face shape still just as round. Don't get me wrong, she was pretty, gorgeous even, but just the same.

"Bella, you look...different." Her eyes were confused.

"Different?"

"Yes, different. Skinnier, you look much skinnier, and pale, extremely pale."

I didn't let my face or body language show any sort of expression or response to her words as I didn't want her to know how much her words had affected me, of course I didn't, I didn't want her to start suspecting me of something.

"Bella, are you alright?" This time her voice was hesitant and worried.

"Of course, don't worry about it".

After that I left them both to it and began to make some breakfast for us, eggs, bacon, and hash browns, (to prove I'm not anorexic).

A few minutes later I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and I turned to see Mason coming to stand in the doorway.

"You done already?" I asked him, it'd only been around 15 minutes.

"I didn't bring much stuff, but Amy on the other hand..." He let his sentence trail off, but we both knew what he was saying, Amy could go extremely overboard when she wanted to.

Suddenly the bell ringer, signalling that breakfast was ready, it startled us both.

Amy came downstairs just as me and Mason were finishing cleaning up our dishes.

"Oh food, what're we having?"

With that, she sat down at the table like she was expecting someone to place a plate of food in front of her. When nobody moved, she sighed.

"No, okay I'm not that hungry anyway." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and stood up again, grabbing my hands in the process.

"Bella, please could you show me around, preferably the beach?" At my disgruntled expression she stuck out her bottom lip and did her best puppy eyes.

"Pretty please?"

She sounded so hopeful, could I say no to that.

"Okay, to the the beach."

"Yay!"

She threw her hands in the air and I'd a victory dance in elation. Even I couldn't help the smile that graced my lips.


End file.
